I read blogs a lot, mainly "miracle baby" or "walk with God" ones just to keep my perspectives in life grounded. 3 in particular - one I've followed for a couple of years now - I stumbled across her blog in doing research for a Prader-Willi Syndrome Association Arizona newsletter I was writing. Her 5 year old daughter has hypotonia and a few other setbacks in her health - not sure that it's "labeled" anything but nonetheless, she's a special needs child and she cannot speak. I've followed this lady nearly daily b/c of her strong faith in God. She's truly inspirational. You can visit her at www.angelicagracedesigns.blogspot.com.
The next one I stumbled on very recently - in the past few months in researching something for my Biology class. Ironically, her blog is linked to the blog I listed above! Such a small world. Anyhow, this lady has a baby who was not supposed to make it out of the womb alive - and was then born healthy and 4 months later suffered from SVT which is a disease in which the heart beats dangerously fast. You can visit her at www.mycharmingkids.net. She is also a Christian woman with an amazing amount of faith. Both of the top two blog ladies are also photographers which I adore - I love photography and have a professional camera on the top of my "If I'm ever rich" list!
Lastly, in the past few weeks I came across www.kayleighannefreeman.blogspot.com upon a prayer request from the charming kids blog. This precious baby was also not supposed to make it out of the womb alive but she beat all odds and seemed to be doing well and within the past week, the doctors have now declared her brain dead. Her chances of living are very minimal...but we serve a Mighty God who works wonders so it's been a journey checking their blog daily to see what is happening. Things don't look good - but this family has again, amazing faith in God.
I follow a few others but will spare the lengthy list! My point is, I've definitely learned over the course of the past few years to stop and smell the roses. Life is far too precious to sweat the small things. I get really down on the days/weekends I don't have the boys - or like this morning, Hunter cried bloody murder when he couldn't come home with me after the soccer game. I instantly feel guilty, as if I failed my kids - as if I did something horribly wrong and I melt. I hate it. It's gotten better over the course of the past year, but there's always a day that at least one of them is screaming or sad b/c they can't come to "Mommy's house." While it used to make me really mad at the world, I've come to accept the situation, realize that there's a reason God put me here and in the situation I'm in, and I realize "damn, I really have it good." I mean, I have a roof over my head, I have healthy happy kids, and we have food! On top of that, we of course have soooo much more, but in all reality, we have way more then most.
My grandma used to always tell me "oh, kids will be kids." I used to detest - I used to think "no, they have to listen, they can't get dirty when I don't want them to, why do they have to drip Kool-Aid all over the floor and then I have to spend MY time cleaning it up?" Within the course of the past 6 years, I've realized how right she is. How right she always is and always has been! Heck, she used to greet her sister Annie at the door every time she visited with a huge hug and "I love you sister Annie!" We would look at her and tell her she was C-R-A-Z-Y! She'd always chuckle and say "you will love your sisters one day too!" Ha - was she ever right! I do in fact love my sisters now, more then ever!
Anyway, that was a tangent....kids will be kids....indeed they will. They are only young once. We are only "parents of small children" for a matter of time and then they grow up and move away...and we will be sitting in our rocking chairs playing the "remember when" game. I've learned to really let my kids be kids. To let them dump all their toys in the middle of the toy room in an effort to entertain us on a day when it's 110 degrees outside, without thinking twice. Without worrying about having to pick it up. I've learned to let them throw water all over the back yard, make a big mess, get their clothes all muddy - simply b/c they can. Because they are kids. Because I was a kid once too. I've learned to let Konnor comb his hair for pictures even when it looks a little, well, let me say it nicely...."dorky!" Because this is what makes Konnor, Konnor. He's a growing little boy who has likes and tastes of his own. He looks in the mirror and thinks he looks like the most handsome kid in the world, which he does of course, but this is him. I've learned to let Hunter dress himself in green gym shorts and a striped collared shirt with his hair all over the place - not to mention that he likes to wear two different flip flops at a time. Because this is Hunter. This is who he is and this is why I love him. Who cares if he matches? Or has his hair combed? I've learned to let Quinn rock climb and do all the things that are made for 5 year olds only b/c he is Quinn. He is a little go-getter who strives to be like his hero of a big brother. Rather then sit back and worry that he's going to get hurt doing things he's too small for, I get off my butt and am right there to guide him and protect him. After all - kids will be kids.
And that, my friends, is all that truly matters. Life really is all about living, laughing, and loving.
Lastly, one more thing I learned from my grandmother is that "The Lord will Provide." She has been saying this to me for 28 3/4 years now - and I find myself saying it to my own kids. Whenever we are worried or wondering how life is going to turn out, she with so much ease and faith says "The Lord will provide....yep, He sure will." And boy Grandma, are you ALWAYS right! Whenever I've had moments of wondering how I'm going to stay above water or submit an assignment in due time - the Lord really does always provide. Yep. He sure does.
So please, if you haven't yet today, take a little time to stop and smell the roses. Take a little time to stop and thank the good Lord above for all that you have and stop worring about all that you don't have. Stop and thank the Lord that you have healthy kids, whether "healthy" with special needs or "healthy" with a chronic illness - just thank Him that you have them here to hold and kiss and love on. You are far more fortunate than many.
I truly am blessed.
2 comments:
What a great post, Shannon. I think you should post this about every 6 months as a reminder (for me anyway!)
Amen sister! Couldn't have said it better myself. Your best post to date, even though they are all good. The kids are blessed to have you as a mom and if they can't quite conceptualize it now, one day they will-and you will be in your rocking chair playing the "remember when" game. :)
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